Welcome to the blog where women writing from prison are featured.

The ability to write, to express ourselves with words, is a gift.

Most of us write for personal reasons and never think of publication.

The business of writing is a tough one and hard to break into.

The writings you see in this blog may be a 'first publication credit' for the authors. They write using pen names.

Writing from the Inside--Pick of the Bunch:
Scroll down to the brown to read "Back to Square One," a poem by Alto Saxophone.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Truth, Creativity and Patience

This summer's intense heat is subsiding. The cool rooms of the education wing still draw the women who are serious about improving their lives. The Authors Club has been especially busy, inducting new members, editing each other's work and giving account for production of new material, This blog includes writing produced from weekly subject prompts, "The Truth," "Why we Create," and "When Patience Pays Off." Some of the writing is poetry, some is prose. The group is led by an inmate writing under the pen name Goldilocks. She does an amazing job, is always prepared with a challenge for the writers-and, in the midst of all this, she has managed to write over 25 books, some self-published and others with publishing companies.

THE TRUTH

Do you know the truth? Do you
know life is a living hell
being trapped by my own thoughts,
people don't know who I am-
but they want to judge, so busy
checking me, they forget about their 
own problems. Do you know the truth? 
I ask myself these questions
while the world is upside down
Yeah, I do. I know people
hate when they can't be me.
I feel the fake love they try
to send me  
Topsy Turvy
What is the truth? 
Is the truth a lie or vice versa?
Is my life true?
Can anything be true?    
By Forgiveness

The truth is the only thing
you can change that will
stay the same according to
its consistency              
By Christian Knight

Did you know I am perfect?
Did you know I never make mistakes?
I am hated by none and loved
by everyone.
Just ask me, I know everything.
I am 8 feet tall, bulletproof 
and faster than lightening.
I am a famous supermodel.
I am a sniper for the CIA.
I invented the smartphone, internet
and the personal computer.
I never tell a lie.
OK. OK. The truth is really
I am not perfect. I do make mistakes.
I am not loved by everyone, but who is?
I do not know everything.
I am just 5' 4" and mortal.
I am not a famous supermodel, sniper
or inventor.
I try not to lie.
The truth is I am human.     
By Nayana

How do you know the truth?
Can you prove it is the truth?
If you can't prove it,
Then it must not be the truth.
Therefore, truth only exists
in your mind.                     
By Butterfly

There's a mantra that states,
"The truth will set you free."
Will it?
A diminutive fabrication sometimes
permits you to be set free.
So they say...
Veracity occasionally incriminates you
and people cast judgement without
getting all the niceties.
Guilty or not?
Honesty sent me to gaol for a
wrongdoing that I did not enact.
Here I lay...
We all seem to have a belief
surrounding the truth.
Don't we?
With all this being said my mantra
is "the truth is overrated."
If it can be found...         
 By Precious Child

The shackles of deceit were invisible
Like, "One nation under God, indivisible"-
a slave to ear-friendly lies
fat-free fries
stable butterflies
temporary goodbys
Fantasy is embraced in captivity
The hope against reality
But the truth shall set us free- indeed!
By Alto Saxophone

What is the truth? Your truth is not my
truth, so what is truth? I don't know your
truth, but my truth is admittance, acceptance,
and responsibility.
My truth sets me free from bondage, denial &
captivity of the heart, soul & mind.
My truth is liberation on the inside.
Does your truth set you free?
By Logic

The truth is absolute & definite. The truth is
fact w/o reasoning. The truth frees
as well as binds. The truth joins 
enemies, yet separates the best of friends.
The truth allows one to confront the past
while realistically facing future limits.
The truth is Christ's strength being perfected
in failure. The truth is all you can
be when you truly believe in yourself.
The truth simply is...truth. 
By RedempTshann

The truth is no one really know why we are here. Of course, I feel a higher power. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to see that we have a Creator. The Creator gave us the ocean, sky, art, and a planet that gives birth to all our needs to stay alive. So enjoy what's been given to you. Relax in the moment- for it may be your last.              By Dragonfly

There's no way to go around
to go over
to go under
the truth...the facts...
or sincerity of allowing a person the chance to make a decision of forgiving, healing, staying or leaving the situation when being upfront. I mean let's identify, not rationalize the reality that a lot of folks- both men and women- would rather be lied to, manipulated, than to face and accept what's directly before their eyes. It is obvious the individual that utters those lies actually believes the words that escape their vocal cords.
My question is, "Why be a coward behind lies and dishonesty?" as if the lies will not entrap you and entangle you inside your own prison? You cannot outrun or escape the truth. Truth is defined as reality, real facts. Either you're real or you're a fraud! 
Truth be told to lie is to sacrifice what you hold closest to your heart. 
Look in the mirror and drop the fictitious mask. 
Allow people to see the real you. 
The truth is in trusting someone, 
especially when you trust nothing, 
not even yourself.
By Knowledge

The truth can't bend nor fold.
By La Dona

The truth
eludes me
Objective
Subjective
Your truth
My truth
Absolute truth
You hide
in the recesses
of my mind
in the secret chambers
of my soul
You hide 
in the illusion
around me
You hide
so I'll pursue you
You tease me
occasionally 
peeping your face
out at me
from obscurity
winking an eye
hiding again
like a persistent lover
I chase my beloved
I taste the kiss
of truth 
on my lips
I hunger for more
his love
his truth
insatiable
I'll seek him
until I find him
and make him
completely mind.
By La Luz

WHY WE CREATE

Why I create
is to release some of this information
before I break,
learn as I grow
because
I grow as I learn.
The fire in my mind blows
the ashes of old ignorance burned.
The more I know the easier to mold
soft clay that I play with
as my life experiences unfold.
Humbled by time
as the best of me unwinds,
Age opens my eyes leaving me
no longer blind.
I express these lessons
in deceptive confession
as poems, pictures in books written.
I bleed ever precious portions
of this ever evolving me.
By HA Na Na

We create because we are created
The divine image in each face
hand, eye, foot
making the world
"Let there be..."
And there is
Everlasting
In my pencil, my words
making
By Summer's

I was created to create
co-creator of life
I recreate the old
imagine: dream the new
I create things differently
that  you...
I create to leave a memory
I create so others can know me
I create to be unique
Why do I?
Because I can
I have the ability
I have the power
I have the mind
to create!
By Logic

We create to exist where words speak more than actions.
We create from our soul's inner inhabitations.
We create poetry so that our thoughts, feelings, dreams can be expressed.
Words form definitions from inside our inner depths.
We create music, the sweetest of songs, of melodies, because music
without words is just notes upon a blank sheet.
We create novels, short stories, just like a singer sings the blues:
it's cyanide to our health if it's not shared.
Our creation is the new evolution to a world striving for originality.
We create because it's a part of who we are. 
Who other to be than a creator, motivator, rebuilding a foundation?
The words that flow from our pens are just a sample of pure gratification.
If we did not create
how could you stand?
How could you speak?
It would be a treacherous world.
To create is to be unique.
By Knowledge

We create
to express
thoughts and emotions
to live
our passions, desires and dreams
to provide
beauty and entertainment
to share
a part of our lives with another
to shape
the world we live in
to enhance
others' lives
We create
because we live
By Butterfly

We create to start a trinity, whether it be fashion, music, or books. Along with that trinity we create different themes and styles to stand out! Creation is reproduction; we have to reproduce to keep up with the rest of the world. But, I create because I want to be different from the rest of the world. I create to show my uniqueness and what sets me apart from the regular. I alone can create my fantasy and my destiny.
By Maat Hotep

We use art, lyrics and writing
as different forms of expression.
Showing our paintings welcomes
our inner selves to be produced;
singing songs, rapping and playing
instruments permits us to show 
our feelings and the depth of our true emotions;
short stories, novels and poetry
holds our  most valuable skill- imagination.
Everybody wants to be known
for their originality.
We all possess some type of art,
skill or knowledge to depict.
With these attributes, creation is used
as a form of expression.
By Precious Child

I create as my creator created me. My trust lies in the safety of that process. I create to express myself. It's how I communicate best. Slightly neurotic and self-conscious to a fault, with feelings of inferiority mixed with an introverted personality, I crave the existence of an extrovert.
I feel safe in creating. It is a reflection of my mind. My mind is where I live. Creating is the safety net that allows me to explore life outside of me. I become free to live.
When I create I just do. I don't feel the agonizing scrutiny of others nor do I feel that vulnerable nakedness when I am in the state of creating. I can just be me.
Creating is where I find who I am and what I am truly capable of. Creating allows me to find myself.
I create to feel at home; to feel and express my heart. it is how I choose to interact with the world at large. In creating, I promote and allow all events in my life.
By Christian Soldier

We create to make the world a better place. It is an art that clears our minds for vivid imagination. It allows us to relieve intense and heavy workloads that we sometimes feel mandated to do. 
We create to focus our efforts on positive and productive projects. Being a voice as well as being a listener can help create a better mind and inspiring being.
We create to understand and to be understood. I've realized that some experiences help shape the journey we endure.
We create to see beauty and share our inspiration. It is often used to hide a heart-wrenching pain and disappointment.
There is a strong possibility that we create to help change the future. I'm pleased with the transformation I've created to move forward in life.   By Goldilocks

I create to inspire. 
To inspire those who want to feel their emotions,
To take them beyond their imaginable dreams.
By Luda

It is my theory that God created man in His image. 
We must create as we are a reflection of His creative nature. 
It comes naturally.
Is anything we create only an impostor, 
a recreation of what has already been done? 
I believe we create as we are created. 
Creating runs in our blood.
By Christian Knight

The reason why I create is because for so long I didn't like my future nor my past. I figured  that the only way for me to be happy is if I created my own future and past. So I create what I would have liked my past to be, and what I would like my future to be.
I have the power to make anything happen when I'm writing. I create my own happiness and my own destiny.
I create because it frees me from the things that I can't change in my own personal life.
The only freedom I have that no one can take from me is the power I have over my creations.
By La Dona

Why do we create? The simple answer to that question is because we can. However, the truth is deeper than that. I write because my stories won't leave me alone. They run around inside my head until I write them down.
I asked a friend why she writes and she said, "To prove I am not just another face in the crowd. Also, so I don't feel so alone in the world." This is true, too. In our writings we create worlds in which we are not alond. We become gods or our imagined worlds. Like it or not, we make the tough decisions in our worlds: who lives, who dies, who's happy, who's sad.
Maybe we create in order to give ourselves the illusion of control. We like to have control and our most creative times are when we are not in control of our lives.
So, why do we create? Ask a hundred people and you'll get a hundred answers. Why do you create meals for your family? Why do you create a home?   By Nayana

I feel the need to create because I was created. The imagination, to me, has no limits. These images are stuck still in time. Creation allows me to escape my conscious state and enter into a peaceful place of invention, of opportunity. Creation helps me align my sanity in an insane environment. Creation allows me to have out of body experiences and gives me an intimate connection with my higher power. It allows me to fearlessly ride the current of this wave length in the spiritual universe. It's a direct path to my soul, my intuition. Creation is the essence of my identity. It allows my mind to stay open.   By Faith Reason

I  create for several reasons, one being that I personally can go anywhere I want to go and be anyone or anything; The second reason is for my readers to bring forth in their lives realizations or fantasies that will make them express many different emotions- whether it's love, hate...or different views from different angles. By creating we can recreate the world from many depths. We can become aliens! We can fly like birds! We can become President!
We can even be water that flows through the cracks of a broken bridge to get to the other side. We can feel the warmth of the water that the sun shines upon...   By Dragonfly

We believe that God is the Divine Creator
Maker of all things
We believe that God lives within us
We believe that we have a divine inspiration
And commission to create
Carrying forth an eternal purpose
That goes beyond our mortal flesh
We believe that each time we create
We are both totally human 
And totally divine
We are spiritual artists
Transcending the black voids
Of stagnancy
Into vivid colors of newness
We change the world
When we create
We escape the world
When we create
We die within the world
When we create
And like God in flesh
We are resurrected
When we create
We were formed and created
Thus we must create
Creations create
When moved by the divine
We create because
That is exactly what God
Created us to be
By Alto Saxophone

WHEN PATIENCE PAYS OFF

I was waiting all the while I had somewhere to be. I didn't know where I had to be yet, only that I felt I had to be there. So I waited. What was I waiting for? Who was I waiting on? Where was the sense of direction that seemed to be so intuitively ingrained from birth in everyone else? What was I going to do with my life? 
I spent 40 years doing nothing but waiting and wondering until I made myself sit down and diligently pen my story from beginning to end making no excuses. That was when I realized I wasn't waiting any more. I had finally showed up! I would take the torch that would make my own life burn bright. My patience paid off the moment I gave myself permission to write, in that I found the direction of my life's heart.   By Christian Knight

Everyone wants to be understood. I find this to be true after 17 years of confinement. Sad to say, I mostly want to be heard and there are few who will take the time to listen. But for those with the patience to listen to other, it is sure to pay off.
Because of those willing to listen to me I began to grow into a beautiful woman, in spite of my very toxic environment. These concerned souls affected me in such a manner that I have chosen to love people above all else.
For me, patience is taking your time to try to understand another person, their views, what they've been going through, along with their likes and dislikes.
Over the years I've gained a reputation that isn't bad. This good reputation I was unaware of for some years until I came across this young lady who insisted I was one of the "good sisters." Oh, I laughed and laughed- for a while.
Later, I could not keep that silly notion out of my head. Me? A good sister? My first thought after I'd pondered over this laughable statement was anger for my definition of "good sister" was one that I did not like: the too good, do gooders, people who were not really good at all, people who were afraid of the bigger bad people. They'd hide behind some religious teaching, often being granted some measure of control and immunity from prison bullies. Na, that wasn't me!
As time went on, I realized that people often come to me with questions, seeking advice, including one lady who stayed in her room 98% of the time. I noticed that the bullies sent the "Yes, Ma'am's" to me, the ones who could claim no alliance to any sides, sects or gangs. I became the one who chose love, the one who intended to listen, who loved to talk and to stand on what it was I believed in, the one who runs into more hugs and smiles these days- and no fights.
This ideal shows that patience pays off: this was 10 years of my life. We decide how our lives will be. We affect all those around us.   By HA Na Na

When patience pays off
I hope this world is a better place
Seeing all the hurt and pain
in so many people's lives
leaves me feeling 
like I have nothing to gain
They say patience is a virtue
but how can that be when everyone
around you is rushing you?
I can't be patient when I feel
like the world is passing me by
I can't be still as time
continues to fly
I won't stand by and continue
to watch my family die
I don't have patience for a world
that doesn't have patience for me
So when patience pays off
I won't be waiting:
I'm not patient enough
to keep waiting.
By La Dona

I searched with vigilance 
to find the truth within this reality
So much of my search
was filled with tears of sand
and with tears of alcohol
I burned, then scratched
then burned and I did so repeatedly
until the habit was formed
In the essence of longing
for better ways to expel my emotions
I cut deep into the root
of my very own demise.
I hurt!
The pain of grieving
the beauty of all sorrows
had weighed me down
into a fiery ball 
of craziness
Delusional
I began talking to myself
in a tone of voice
that scared the shit 
out of me
I'd say things like
"Girl, get over it" 
or
"It coulda been worse"
and my all time favorite
"Let go. Let God."
God who?
God when?
God what?
I laughed and truly
found humor because
in this reality
I'd said the truth,
"Let go. Let God."
Ever since I let God
have control
things have been different
The smile is in my heart
I smile for reasons
that no one knows
A smile that shows a beauty
that through vigilance
still provokes joy.
By Daidem

I waited for him
Anticipating his next move
As I gazed at Mother Nature
There were trees and plants
Leaves and dewdrops
But he could not be tracked 
I even listened to
The ticking of his essence
Yet his movement was outpacing
My reverent stillness and awareness
Oh, Mother Nature, I began to plead
Why has he not stopped to notice me?
And Mother Nature glimpsed
My graying hair and soft wrinkles
Aimed a response at my curiosity and said
Your Father Time has kept you at his die
And will race you through Eternity
Thank you for noticing me
By Alto Saxophone

She is my best friend
Through these past twenty years
She's been holding my hand
She insists I avoid
Rushing
Quick solutions
Her wise words
I practice
No matter how I must toil
She leads the way
Showing me every careful step
"Time is my friend," she says
With Patience
I'll win in the end
By La Luz

"I need more patience," I ask the Most High
"Here it is." He hold His hand out.
Born into life with questions
Trying to take life as it comes
One foot in the door
Quickly being pushed back
Anger and rage set in
Two feet in now, playing hardball
Hands touch my innocence
Sadness and sorrow sing their song
My hands and feet are planted
in loose soil
Sinking into a deep depression
Only on this earth a decade
Death takes over
Devouring every life given to me
Mommy, Daddy, who else can I run to?
Chains and bars take the forefront
Suffocating me inside
I ask God, "Why?"
He says, "You asked for patience.
I prepared you. You are trained in pain.
Look at you now. You are free.
Your patience within
brought you through."
By Forgiveness

In today's world we are always in a hurry. We text while we drive down the interstate. We multi-task while we talk on the phone. No one gives anything their full attention any more. We need to slow down. Did you notice the flowers growing in your front yard today? No? Why not? Were you looking up information on your smart phone? Did you notice the way your spouse divided his attention between you and the football game on TV? Sure, you did. It affects you. But did you notice how much you listened to your child when she told you about her day at school? What are her friends' names? Oh, you were too busy preparing that frozen dinner? What a shame. 
Think back. Do you remember when you were a kid? Didn't you enjoy cooking with your mom? How about playing games or cards with the family? You did? I'm not surprised, I did too. My mom was busy too. So was my dad. But, they weren't always in a hurry. They took time for me. As a result, my mom is my hero. My dad was my rock, the light of my world. My mom is my #1 role model. Don't you want your children to look up to you? Don't you want your spouse to pay attention? Of course you do. 
Slow down. Be patient. Pay attention. You'll get it. Smell the flowers sometimes. I promise it's worth it when your spouse looks at you and smiles and says, "I love you." You'll believe me when your child runs to you for a hug, smiles and says, "Thank you." You'll know it's worth it.
My mom has been waiting eleven years, so far, for me to come home. In one more year her patience will pay off. When that day comes I will run to her, hug her and say, "Thanks, mom. You never gave up on me. Your love has been my strength. You helped me through from the beginning to the end. I love you."   By Nayana

You'll know when Patience has paid off in my life
That's the day when I'll shine brighter than the Aurora Borealis
My days will glide by faster than water slides
Patience had better pay off.
Heck, I've been waiting impatiently for eight years
To see the light at the ind of the tunnel
called Prison.
If Patience doesn't pay me
I'll keep messing with Impatience

Impatience and I get along just fine
I keep hoping and praying for the day
When I'll get out, get rich, travel
And have a Kim Kardashian body
I impatiently attempt to work on those goals on my own
Because I refuse to patiently wait for them
Patience hasn't paid me anything
So, why should I put out?

I know it's sad I'm charging for a response
But in today's society and this new economy
I have no choice
I'm giving it how it's given to me
You treat me like I'm supposed to wait on you
Patience, you never come through.
Never come through.

I tell you what
If you don't give me what I want
When I want it
Then I'll just keep Impatience right here
That's right, I'll keep your wife until you pay me off
Impatience belongs to me!
If you want her back
You know what to do
By Tikalicious

Patience is the painful virtue
Translated in the suffering of us all
Waiting is the hardest part

The morning that brings joy
Is a sunrise over the darkness of despair
And the harvest of its dawn cultivated
By sweat insomnia, fear and tears

When it breaks, it breaks over the broken
The weary, the woeful
Bright as new day
Caught between the wet lashes
Of your crying eyes

Hope is real and everything then realized
The Dying gives us life
The forgetting helps us to remember
The weariness makes us stronger than before

Morning comes
We wait no more
By Summer's

Who hasn't been told that Patience is a virtue?
Or that kindness can go an extra mile or two?
We've all had constant ups and downs
We've all have experienced the feeling 
of wearing our hearts inside out
Yet determination determine perspective
And change is a part of life
Patience pays off, just don't you lose sight
of this life that can take you to the left
and back to the right
Forks in the road? Don't back down
Stand and fight. Back up. Regroup
Try it again. In this life Patience pays off
Believe me, there are no deadends
Keep pushing on
By Knowledge

When patience pays off, you find
a place of rest. No more hustle
and bustle around completing
the task. Tense emotions are soothed
Relaxation is your new best friend
As you enjoy the bountiful fruit
of your harvest, you can begin
to sow new seeds on freshly
plowed ground.
By Faith Reason

That dang dog kept me up for the last time. I mean, what is it about those people who love their dogs so much they put the itsy-bitsy foo foo with the annoying bark outside right as the sun goes down? Maybe, they don't want little foo foo to interrupt their beauty rest. They'd much rather wake their cranky neighbor. Trust me, I am NOT the one to wake up after 10PM with foo-foo's pleas to unlatch the doggy door. Not after six java-javas, seventeen work hours and an ongoing incoming email list. 
I began to journal. That's what my psychologist, Dr. Warren, said to do. That's right, I'm journaling about that terrible mutt. Who's going to judge me on the four hundred sixty-eighth day, fourteenth hour and twenty-ninth minute of that hell-ridden dog's barking? Would you like some BARK tea? Or how about watching some BARK television? No? No? So how about I take the BARK BARK rifle and shoot the BARK BARK BARK out of that idiot dog?  "Breathe," Dr. Warren says. 
As soon as I inhale real sharply, BAM. I run to the window. That sound. It couldn't have been what I thought it was. Not that sweet sound from Heaven. Yes! Oh, yes, it was. The street sweeper dragging foo foo ten blocks. Oh, how patience pays off.   By Royalty

It is not every day that Tyler Perry or James Patterson are giving shout outs to new aspiring writers- though it would be a very nice honor considering that many of us would like to be as good or greater. I choose to be me, my best, not the circumstances.
As an aspiring writer I had to learn what being patient meant. Becoming a published author doesn't, and didn't, happen over night. It took 18 years of incarceration, change of thinking, determination, being used, several rejections, about five books later and another three years before a publisher accepted my manuscripts.
Patience pays off. When you believe in your dreams and chase them down, Patience pays off. I did just that. Within a four year period, I have penned 28 books, with 15 of them published. Once I read, "a new challenge will unlock a new mind-set." I know that "Faith is sure of what we hope for, certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11.1    By Goldilocks